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Okay, I admit it. I am a Geek. I can knowledgeably explain what Role Playing Games are, and my explanation won’t include anything about ice cubes, handcuffs, sexy nurse outfits, or any of the paraphernalia that one might find with a certain type of role playing (Unfortunately). Sadly, the equipment that I can wax lyrical about are dice and which kind of graph or hex paper is best for which kind of adventure map. Sigh. I was in my late 20s before I even knew that there was a kind of role playing that didn’t involve sitting around a table with a bunch of other guys and pretending to be a hobbit. Man, did I choose the wrong kind of role playing, or what?

Anyway, I can also probably deal with most common IT issues, have owned a vast collection of SF films and TV series since before I knew that there were even better kinds of Role Playing, and I even learned some Klingon back in the dark dim past. I am a Geek.

To be honest, I am not embarrassed or ashamed by this. There wasn’t a lot of point. It was kind of massively inevitable. I have always gravitated towards the stuff that pushed your brain and your imagination. Games like soccer are just not… well… complex enough. Kick ball into box made of sea net. Got it. Don’t touch ball with hands. Check. If an opponent comes within three feet of you fall over clutching your leg as if your shin has been shattered. Noted. That’s just… well… boring. Plus, most sports seem to take place when it is cold and wet outside… or when a really cool movie is on.

It’s not that I am bad at sports, it’s just that the sports I really enjoy are… well… geeky. Fencing and Badminton. Done a lot of both over the years and loved them.

So. Geek. Wordy geek who is obsessed with language and expression. Moves to a remote country hamlet. The only work in this region is either farming, raising cattle, or cutting down trees. When you go to the little general store in the nearby hamlet, there WILL be several trucks out the front. Because trucks are what farmers drive. It is the only practical solution out here. I have one, too. I use it a lot.

But my background is academic research, technical writing, IT support and training. Not a lot of cattle clamoring for me to write some documentation for them. Not many sheep asking for me to do a quick content analysis series for some research they are undertaking.

When you have spent most of your working life at a keyboard, being faced with the reality of a bent steel fencepost that is in desperate need of being ripped out and replaced… well… there’s no app for that at the Apple Store. When you mention your dilemma to your highly amused neighbour, they are likely to chuckle and explain that you just need a fencepost remover. “Great! Excellent…. umm…what’s that?”

Street cred is really hard to get when you have no frickin clue what you are doing. Not knowing how to lay a gravel road or weld together a new gate, or wield a chainsaw without painting the surrounding terrain red… well… being ignorant of these kinds of things is – apparently – just a bit gay.

All over the world Geeks are coming into their own. Knowledge is power, particularly in the information age… and we geeks know a lot about a lot of things. Names like Jobs and Gates are HUGE. Being an uber geek now means being worth millions or even billions of dollars.So what do I do? I move to a place where they don’t really even have a concept of Geek.All of my skills are – frankly – useless. Mind you, if I work really hard and learn a zillion things, I might one day manage to be the village idiot.

But y’know? I’ve never had this much fun in my life. :)

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